To leave you all out of my misery, I decided to post this funny mail that I got from my dear cousin, Emilda, yesterday. I just thought it would be a gd idea to share with everyone. Dunno if the jokes are a lil old (I personally havent read it before till yesterday)....but here they are anyway.
************************************************************************************* Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day....?
My tire was thumping
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire
I noticed your cat
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you
How upset you must be
But don't fret about it
She moved in with me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back over the years
that we've been together
I can't help but wonder
"What the hell was I thinking?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold
someone to love
After having met you
I've changed my mind
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life
I never believed in Hell until I met you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
That you're not here to ruin it for me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your promotion
Before you go
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday!
You look great for your age
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together
you always said you'd die for me
Now that we've broken up
I think it's time you kept your promise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have been friends for a very long time
let's say we stop?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy
Did you ever find out who the father was?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday
So we're having you put to sleep
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So your daughter's a hooker
and it spoiled your day
Look at the bright side
it's really good pay
Hope u had a good laugh like I did.
Orite....gotta go back to work..
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